The Forced Language of The Crown
If state appointments now mirror the genealogy of a select few, why should infrastructure be spared? The Dramatized Irony: When Silence Becomes Consent This is not just satire. It is sorrow wrapped in metaphor. A country that fears to name injustice is a country slowly complicit in it. Where is the outcry from the North, the lament from the East, the resistance from Buganda?
Uganda Today Edition: The Forced Language of The Crown
Uganda Today News Desk
Published: May 8, 2025
Introduction: When Geography Becomes Genealogy
In today’s Uganda, power no longer emanates from democratic will or constitutional ideals. Instead, it courses through bloodlines, tribal familiarity, and geographic exclusivity. What once aspired to be a republic now echoes the slow drumbeats of a dynasty—what some have quietly come to call the Bachwezi State.
In this piece, I present a rhetorical proposition. If power, wealth, and governance are concentrated in one region and one lineage, let’s not pretend. Let’s rename everything—from roads to rivers, from ministries to mosquito nets. Let satire, sorrow, and suppressed truth share one stage.
I. Of Roads and Regimes: From Lumumba Avenue to ‘Rukungiri Crescent’
If state appointments now mirror the genealogy of a select few, why should infrastructure be spared?
Let Lumumba Avenue be baptized Muhoozi Motorway. Its symbolism is no longer resistance but inheritance. Kololo, once a diplomatic crest, could now be known as Rwakitara Ridge. And the Entebbe Expressway, gateway to State House, deserves a more transparent name: Ankole Express.
This is not a call for tribalism—it is a mirror held up to it.
II. When Lakes Lose Their Names and Trees Begin to Speak Runyankore
If state power is a river that flows in one direction, then rename the river.
Let Lake Victoria be renamed Lake Muhoozi—not for hydrology, but for hierarchy. Let River Nile flow anew as Rwamugasha Stream, symbolic of national resources channelled along ancestral fault lines.
Why stop there? Mabira Forest becomes Obugabe Woodland, a shrine not of biodiversity but of bloodline supremacy. And let Mount Elgon, towering yet forgotten, be humbled into Rwenzururu Minor—a shadow beneath the mountain of monarchy.
III. Institutions or Ancestral Estates?
Today’s Judiciary speaks less of justice than of loyalty. The military resembles a homestead more than a national force. Parliament? A theatre with marionettes whose strings are tied not to voters, but to blood.
When nepotism becomes institutional logic, we don’t just lose opportunity—we lose national identity.
IV. Rename the Republic: The People’s Clan of Bachwezi
Let us abandon pretense. If statehood is inherited, let us rename the state.
Call it The People’s Clan of Bachwezi. Let the passport read: “Issued by the Dynasty”. The Coat of Arms? A long-horned cow, a milk gourd, and a western compass. Rewrite the national anthem—in Runyankore, of course—and replace “For God and My Country” with “For Kin and Crown.”
V. The Dramatized Irony: When Silence Becomes Consent
This is not just satire. It is sorrow wrapped in metaphor. A country that fears to name injustice is a country slowly complicit in it. Where is the outcry from the North, the lament from the East, the resistance from Buganda?
What is more dangerous than a captured republic? A comfortable colony. One where subjects mistake silence for peace.
Conclusion: A Call to Rethink the Meaning of Uganda
This is not a call to hatred—it is a call to healing. But healing begins with truth. A diverse, equitable Uganda cannot be built on a throne of tribal favoritism.
Until then, we live not in a republic—but in a renamed estate. Not in Uganda—but under the rising shadow of a dynasty masquerading as democracy.
Let us dare to dream again.
Let us dare to rename—this time, not in surrender, but in pursuit of restoration.
Woe to those who make unjust laws, to those who issue oppressive decrees.” – Isaiah 10:1
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